Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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