I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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