Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
