You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
