i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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