i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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