even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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