He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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