Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
