I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
