dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
