Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
