i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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