Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Randomize
