My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize