if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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