I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
