Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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