loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
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He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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