none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
