We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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