i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
