Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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