Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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