Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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