Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
