you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
