drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you win again, gameday.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
