All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
