Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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