So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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