I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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