I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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