Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize