I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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