I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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