the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
