so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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