i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
