OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
