I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
