Duck Duck Cougar?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
