my mouth tastes like poor choices
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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