Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
