Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
