i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
