I don't think brook has ever known best
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
