I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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