My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
