I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
