No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
