so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize