I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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