Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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