He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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