I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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