Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
