His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
